Saturday, December 13, 2008

Update from London

Here's a little lesson from Traveling Yogini:

When you are feeling fearful, step back and assess. Where is this fear coming from? Is it irrational fear that is holding me back? Or, is there a legitimate red flag being waved? Quietly observe and wait for your heart's answer.

I really want(ed) to move to London. I love this city. Every city has a vibe and I fell in love with London's. This is one of the friendliest cities I've been in. People will go out of their way to help you. If asking for directions, people will give detailed instructions....start to walk away.....then turn back around to be sure you are pointed in the right direction. I've had people hear me asking for help and when the person I asked couldn't help they've followed me to tap me on the shoulder and lend a hand. During my travels I've met some beautiful people, but let me tell you it is amazing here.

I've always dreamed of living overseas. How great would it be to hop on a plane and go to Denmark for the weekend? To be immersed in a different culture? I was feeling a little freaked out (another word for fearful) about the opportunity to move here. So, as you can understand from how I've been living my life the last year, I felt fearful and said 'AHA! Fear! Screw you fear! I'm going for it!!' ....and that was it. I decided just to plunge in. I sort of had to take that approach as there seems to be a lot of work coming up in January and being that it was the beginning of December I didn't have a whole lot of time.

Then I started researching how to get my cats here. I thought I could skip quarantine as long as I showed proper documentation of shots. Yes, but it is still a six month process. My fear turned into concern. I started noticing my feelings. I didn't want to leave my cats for another six months while I waited for their paperwork. I miss them. I noticed the work I was being sent on wasn't exactly ideal for me. I felt stressed out and worn out by it....and isn't that why I left my last job? When I made the decision to step down as manager I wanted to focus on yoga more. My heart tells me I still do. In fact there is a program at an ashram in India that I want to attend Oct-Jan which I'd have to start paying off debt and saving for....which leads me to finances. After accruing some debt on this trip would it be smart or safe financially to relocate? I don't know.

Meanwhile, I bought my ticket to come home for the holidays and, once again, I noticed my feelings. I am excited to come home. I am jumping out of my skin to see the ones I love. I am counting down the days. I didn't know I felt that way until I bought my ticket. Until then I was so focused on one thing: 'stay in Europe as long as possible.'

All of this lead me to hold off on any decisions. Get home first. Again, assess how I feel. Do more research. Spend time with loved ones. Breathe. Then, see how things fall into place. I may be itching to get out of Connecticut again. I may want to stay put for a while. So, keep watching to see what happens!! And remember the lesson of the day: stay tuned in to your feelings.

Speaking of being tuned in....I went to Amsterdam for a short business trip. After the assignment I had some time to look around the city. I took the tram from my assignment to the center of town and started to wander (no map-something fun and completely freeing I've learned to do--of course that was after I mastered the art of map reading).

I found myself on a very touristy road and wanted to get off of it. I stopped and looked to my left. This is what I saw:
Notice the building to the far left. Under the first set of windows it says 'The Grasshopper.' I was very drawn to this place. Everything in my being was saying GO THERE. Being that I was hungry I thought maybe it was a good place to eat. When I saw the prices I thought better of it....but remember this place for later in my story.

I saw a hostel and stopped in to ask where I could get some good food at reasonable prices. I didn't like what they suggested, so I kept walking. One turn to the left and HELLO! I was in the red light district. Boobies and booty galore. I wasn't looking to buy, so
I found myself quite uncomfortable looking. I wandered some more and found some nice canals.And some nice squaresWith some urinals in the street? I'm glad we don't have these in America:I wandered....and wandered....and got hungrier and colder and progressively more grumpy. All of the places to eat were either full of marijuana smoke or just didn't appeal to me. Amsterdam has beautiful architecture, but from what I can tell if you're not into hookers or wacky-weed, then it ain't got much for you. I landed up seeing a new-age store and thought I could just go in for a while and warm up before continuing my food search. As I walked through the store I noticed some tables up front. Well wouldn't you was a cafe too!! I started with some hot, home made, chai tea (my favorite!) while I waited for my food. Everything was insanely delicious and healthy. Just what I needed. ....and guess what?? This place was right next door to that Grasshopper restaurant! My yogi-new-age homing instincts were tuned in and guiding me to where I needed to be in this city. After sitting here till closing and going to the airport I still had 3 hours till take-off. Uuugggg.

As glamorous as it sounds to go on business to Amsterdam, I was downright exhausted. All said and done it was a 20 hour day.
Just a funny pic....Paul had to stop into the doctor to get a check up and we got bored....take a look at the green board in the background.Paul's been working, so his friend Windog and I went out for dinner and a walk one night.There was a fair going onPaul and I fly home December 23rd. I'm so looking forward to showing him where I'm from and introducing him to those of you who are able to meet him! He'll be with me in CT until February 9th (unless London calls me back unexpectedly at which point we'll come back together!)
Sending love and light to you all. Can't wait to give you a biiiiiig hug in person!